just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize