What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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