My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
