I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
