put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize