Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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