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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Quick, to the slutcave!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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