This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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