You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
