Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
