This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
