My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
