Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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