Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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