tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
NoShamevember. You game?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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