I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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