He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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