There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
