yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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