And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
