One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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