You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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