they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
