she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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