i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
