Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
