they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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