You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
