i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
