I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize