OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
