I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
