hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
