i can't believe i had my finger in that
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
