why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
