Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize