he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What a dumb baby whore.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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