I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
