Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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