? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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