physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
