i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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