Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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