Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Someone came in the potted fern
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
