What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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