Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
