sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
