shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
