I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
