fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
a search helicopter?!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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