I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
