Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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