Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize