I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
