first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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