Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
