$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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