I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize