FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This is classic penis vs brain.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
